All of the sudden, my infant is a child. Now What?

Often I get asked about my next book. After all, the first book was about newborns and being a new father of something that eats, sleeps, and lets of some unbelievable smells. Then it crawls and then walks – but at some point it begins to think and then the moment of truth comes – it begins to copy us. I use the word ‘it’ to this point because I have heard fathers talk about how they are ‘not really baby people’. Let me call these ‘It Dads’, because realistically this person that has come into your life remains largely an enigma for you, because it does not do anything. But, when he/she starts to copy you, show a personality, and an ability to engage you – then watch out.

In my experience, this is when parenting shifts gears because someone is watching. Up to this point your time has been changed and you have experienced sleep deprivation and mental frustration way beyond what any book or person could have prepared you for – but you could still say and do whatever you wanted because ‘the baby’ was not paying attention. A friend told me a story one time of how Dad was reminded of this fact.

As they were approaching potty training time, one day mom noticed their daughter making her way into the bathroom as a sign that she needed to go. Of course mom verbally supported her by saying the words that the child had learned to be associated with that feeling of discomfort “Do you have to go potty?”, followed by the positive affirmation of “Good girl, go to the potty.”. The excitement for mom grew as the little legs took her young daughter around the corner and into the bathroom. Her books had told her about this moment and after 2+ years of diapers she dreamed of the ‘time’ coming. This was the moment her daughter proves she is brilliant! She gleefully watched as her daughter lifted the toilet seat, pulled down her diapers, put both of her hands in front of her, and then proceeded to pee right down her legs and onto her diaper and the carpet. The first reaction? Dad had to be summoned! The ensuing conversation – full of a whole lot of laughter from Dad, and eventually Mom – reminded him that he has to start shutting the bathroom door! For better or for worse Dad – they are watching you and starting to copy you.

My favorite author is Vince Flynn, writes novels about modern day espionage. In one of his most recent books I was reminded of the transition from infant to child when one of his characters inadvertently swears in front of his child. Of course, the young child with limited vocabulary begins to repeat the word over and over again with such clarity that you begin to think your child is a genious. The character is saved by the fact that his wife comes home and, through a set of somewhat believable circumstances, utters the same profanity. This starts the child to again repeat the word over and over again, to which dad simply remains mute about his indiscretion and lets mom feel the guilt. If I ever meet Vince Flynn I need to ask him the question “Is this particular incident is autobiographical?”

So it is time to write book number two, and in the upcoming months I am going to use this blog to explore some of the chapters that come to mind in this next stage of parenting.