Parenting and sports

Soccer season ended today with our team party. Once you have parented for a while I you have to try coaching a sport. As I watched the 9 five year olds run around our yard it made me smile - because they basically smile all the time. Win or lose, it really never mattered, they just played. But I don't want to totally misrepresent the experience, there were some tough points.

I remember the first practice when it was like a well oiled machine. I talked, they jumped, parents helped - it was amazing. I thought - wow, after four kids I am REALLY good! Then came practice three - and just about everything that went right went wrong. They cried, they did not listen, they were openly defiante to my authority. It was as if a union steward had organized them on the playground with the explicit orders to stick it to the man so that he did not think he had the upper hand. At some point during my debrief at home my wife looked me in the eye and said, "Remember Scott, they are only five."

The one thing that bothers me about sports in general today is that kids don't seem to play them for fun - and parents spend more time telling them what to do rather than just cheering them on. I learned a long time ago to focus my instruction in practice and to do my best not to overwhelm them with dialogue during the game. After all, they are "only five". So when you are at the game just sit back and listen every now and then - and my guess is that you will hear a few things that make you think twice about what kind of encouragement you offer.

Let me finish by saying that I have my moments too. As the kids get older it is easier to slip into a little old school coaching - barking and riding them more than normal. But make sure you let them know you love em along the way - then they will still follow you.